Premarital Counseling Clients Can Expect To Receive:

  • A clear understanding of the personality and relationship style of each partner and the unique way they interact in a marital relationship

  • Preparation for handling conflict and challenges in marriage

  • Personal, ethical, and individualized services

  • Qualified, licensed counseling services

  • Direct, honest feedback about the current strengths and challenges in your relationship

  • An integration of faith and practice (at the client’s discretion)

If you are searching for information on premarital counseling, you probably know there are a lot of options out there.  You can talk with the individual who is marrying you, you can take personality tests or learn communication skills, or you could meet with more experienced married couples.  My name is Ron Welch, and my wife, Jan, and I have been married 27 years.

Over 20 years as a licensed psychologist, working with couples for much of that time, has taught me that there are three keys to high-quality, professional premarital counseling.  First, it has to focus on the unique and special  relationship between the two of you and how your two individual personality styles interact together.  Second, it has to address both the strengths this relationship and your individual personalities bring to the table AND the potential challenges that these factors may create.  Last, and definitely not least, it cannot be a box you check to complete another task before you get married.  In fact, it may be the single most important thing you do before you get married.  Premarital counseling needs to be an honest, sincere look at the real difficulties you may face when you get married.

Our work together will focus on the Four Pillars of Transformational Marriage that I believe in – Hope, Selflessness, Forgiveness, and Praise.

  1. We will talk about building HOPE in the future of your relationship.  You probably have a lot of hope right now and you may not want to talk about anything even a little bit negative.  But if you don’t talk about these things now, when will you?  I have found that true hope is based on an accurate picture of what the future looks like.
  2. We will talk about being SELFLESS and thinking of the other person’s needs before your own.  We live in a selfish society where we are taught to find a partner that meets our needs and look out for Number One.  I will suggest that a better model of marriage is one in which you think of your partner’s needs before your own.
  3. We will talk about FORGIVENESS and the importance of not letting problems build up on top of each other.  I will be totally honest – there have been times that I have been a really poor husband and have allowed the pressures of life and my own pride to prevent me from honoring, respecting, and loving my wife the way she deserves.  She has had to forgive me many times in order for us to move past those times.  I will share some of the things I have learned from my mistakes so that you can learn from them.
  4. We will talk about PRAISE and how important it is to tell each other, out loud, why you value, love, and respect each other.  You tell your fiance’ when you are angry or unhappy or frustrated, right?  Why wouldn’t you tell them all the things they do right?  Research has shown us that it takes 7 positive statements to make up for 1 negative statement.  You will learn how to build your partner up, rather than tearing her or him down.

Jan and I have faced challenges many times in our marriage, and we believe that we have not only survived these challenges but grown stronger because of them.  Preparing for the unique challenges your marriage will present will greatly increase the chances that your marriage can be successful and fulfilling.  We have learned that we never marry the person we marry.  We grow and change and we have to learn to honor and respect each other.

If this sounds like the type of premarital work that would prepare you well for your upcoming marriage, then send me an email at help@transformational-marriage.com.  We could schedule an initial session where we can get to know each other and see if this is a good match for you.  I look forward to meeting with you and helping you prepare for a lifetime of love.